Lizzo!

What a crazy time for you. Your songs are busting through the charts, you gave a stellar performance at the VMAs and quite honestly, have women, men, boys, girls, non-binary, trans, queer, and anyone else I left out just smiling and dancing. Your songs are infectious and your vibes are equally as delightful. Following you on Instagram is a joy. What I would give to drink champagne in Hawaii poolside with you and your girls whilst twerking. It truly looked like a blast. Keep doing you, Lizzo, because it’s reminded me that no matter what I see on the internet, I am happy with my life, my mind, and most importantly; my body.

A few weeks I nodded in agreement as I read how sick you are of being called “brave” for being confident with your body. "When people look at my body and be like, 'Oh my God, she's so brave,' it's like, 'No, I'm not,'" Lizzo, 31, tells Glamour. "I'm just fine. I'm just me. I'm just sexy. If you saw Anne Hathaway in a bikini on a billboard, you wouldn't call her brave. I just think there's a double standard when it comes to women." Amen to that.

In a burgeoning age of body positivity, I’m feeling better about my larger body. I’m 5’10 and a size 14. In months of steady exercise and rigorous diet I can get down to a 12, and in months of little exercise and eating what I want, I’m easily a 16. And I’m finally okay with this because FINALLY brands are including bodies I can identify with in their marketing. I almost fell off my front porch the other day when I opened the new Anthropologie catalogue and after fifteen years of being a loyal customer without EVER identifying with their models, having to read through user reviews looking for feedback from women who actually have normal bodies and wear the clothes (shot out to all of you writing reviews out there), there it was. A collection of models that were not only reflective of my body type, but were hanging out with the size 0 models. Granted, this was the inclusion of their new “plus size'“ line, but a small step in the right direction. They also had an ethnically diverse line up of models and whoever fought hard for this within their corporate matrix, YOU DID IT!!! Congratulations!!!

If you are a long time Anthropologie catalogue recipient, this photo probably made your mouth hang open with excitement.

Even though I can’t afford her clothes, I follow Rachel Antonoff’s Instagram because one day I’ll buy that peasant dress or lobster skirt, but really, Antonoff makes clothes for women of all shapes and sizes and the vibes across all of her marketing feel real, approachable, and like she’s actually thinking about normal, everyday women and I can dig that. At my size, sometimes it’s difficult to even walk into stores (I’m looking at you J. Crew and your lack of double-digit sizes!) and think I’m going to find something both stylish and flattering. It’s nice to know that I can one day splurge on something as high quality as an Antonoff piece without having to starve myself to fit into it.

Dove famously made a splash way out in front of the body positivity trend with their “Real Beauty” campaign and it seemed like times were changing. Sadly, this change was eclipsed by a Kardashian era social media frenzy. Full of plumped lips, waist trainers, contoured makeup, plastic surgery, and looks that I honestly can only liken to futuristic sex dolls, it’s like we took one-hundred steps backward from loving the body we’re in. And we stayed there for a really long time up until just recently.

Even into my 40s, I find myself embarrassed that I struggle with body issues. But then came you, Lizzo. What are we telling a younger generation of women if we’re constantly feeling ashamed that we don’t look like an airbrushed Instagram fem-bot? For some reason, I followed a gym on Instagram that posted a photo of one of its members working out. She looked fit. Like really fit! Toned arms, thin waist, fit legs, and probably is no more than a size 4 or 6. She commented on the photo, “Feeling stronger every day!! Hopefully, I’m 20 leaner by 2020!” My initial reaction was, “what the fuck is wrong with her? She looks great.” That was quickly followed by unfollowing the gym, looking through this woman’s Instagram feed and just feeling bummed that for as happy as she appeared and how great she looked, she felt like she could lose twenty pounds. It also bummed me out that she had a daughter and that “I just need to lose a little more” mentality was pervasive in her household. I pulled back, took a deep breath and realized that Instagram can be bad for your mental health if you let it. So I put my phone down, cranked up “Truth Hurts” and danced in my underwear. Just kidding. Kind of.

My friend and I love to use the acronym KYB (know your body) when thinking about what we’re going to wear, but also find that it’s a pretty good mantra to live by when you look in the mirror or shop for clothes. Watching you, Lizzo reminds me to know my body, know what I feel confident wearing and get out there and be my best. The more of us women who are out there, comfortable in our skin; the more this type of confidence will become contagious for younger generations of women and girls. For this newfound confidence, I have Lizzo and my spin instructor Kamelle (introduced me to your music) to thank.

Cheers,

Brandi

PS- I’m not joking about hanging poolside with you and your dancers. It is now one of my greatest dreams. I’ll bring the wine!

Culture Hound

Dear Lizzo or How I'm Learning to Love My Body in the Social Media Era